Spirit story of the week

Recently, I forgave someone in my family for constantly projecting his inner rage onto me every chance he could.

He wanted to fight me no matter what the topic or situation. The only way we got along is if I remained completely silent and he felt like I actually agreed with him.

Too frequently, I made the mistake of letting my passionate Spirit clash with his. Growing up, I found it nearly impossible to keep my mouth shut!

I was just as addicted to the 'anger' energy as he was. Only, I didn't have any awareness at the time that tapping into his volatile energy was slowly destroying me.

After our arguments, I always got sick. I'm not talking sick with a cold. I'm talking a major autoimmune illness where I couldn't get out of bed for months because of fatigue or chronic pain.

By yelling for our 'rightness' or control, I was unknowingly creating a toxic energetic cord between the two of us. This negative bond was strengthened the more we fought.

I had to be the one to recognize this and make a change.

It has only been in the past two years that I realized that I was just AS MUCH responsible as he was for our draining, repetitive relationship.

No matter how much I loved him, I found it incredibly difficult to break the cycle and just forgive him.

Why couldn't I just accept him for who he was and LET IT GO?

Even after 22 years of Shamanic healing, meditation and working with love and forgiveness, all of my training would fly out the window within sixty seconds if he triggered me! I would quickly transform into a hurt sixteen year old girl stomping and crying to get her silly point across!!

So, I made a decision.

I decided to commit to MYSELF and my health and happiness.

I chose to forgive this family member FULLY and to love myself enough not to engage in his combative energy anymore.

I am not interested in 'winning' an argument or being right.

I am interested in being happy.

I would rather be FREE from his anger forever than fight to be understood by him.

This doesn't make me weak, passive or someone that does not care.

It has only opened my heart wider and stronger, allowing me to love myself more deeply in the midst of someone that truly and so very sadly....doesn't love himself.

I shared this Spirit story tonight for all of you out there that are struggling with a family member. You are not alone. I hope you choose to love yourself too. ♡