My son. The Warrior.
Spirit story of the year, "This was the best, and worst, year of my son’s life. It was the year that brought him to his knees. This summer, I waited by the phone night after night anticipating my son’s fiancĂ©’s call that he took his life.
I grieved my son’s death while he was still alive.
In all of his 21 years, I had never seen my son like this. So empty. So gone. Where was my baby Andy? There were no smiles. No laughs.
For the first time in my son’s life, I saw him removing himself from the family he loved. He spoke of being a “burden” and could never imagine not being sad.
See, he broke 3 years of sobriety on his 21st birthday. This alcohol binge lead him to opioids. He ended up addicted to pain killers within two weeks. He lost an internship he had wanted for years and nearly lost his life during his detox on March 16, 2018.
We watched him vomiting in a fetal position praying to die. After this, he spiraled into the worst depression of his life. Even as a Shaman, I couldn’t save Andy’s Soul. He had to find his way back to himself.
In this hell, three things happened. Mini miracles. Andy’s rock bottom lead me to contact an old friend that worked with the top specialists in the area. He referred Andy to a Psychologist. But, this wasn’t just any Psychologist.
This dr was a recovering heroin addict that had gone to prison in his early twenties. HE GOT IT. He understood Andy’s demons and slowly gave Andy his HOPE back. That was the first miracle.
The second miracle was when Andy’s underlying disorder was brought to light-instead of numbed or dismissed. Andy was misdiagnosed since he was 5 years old.
Over the years, he was given meds that nearly killed him. FINALLY, this amazing therapist guided Andy to THE dr that got it right. Andy was using drugs to alleviate his severe ADHD that impacted every area of his life. Andy was given the best meds to treat his chemical imbalance. These meds, along with talk therapy, saved his very Soul.
Chemical imbalances ARE REAL. Holistic remedies didn’t work for Andy. Yes, we tried everything. After all, I am an energy healer that believes in natural medicines and the body's ability to heal itself.
But, Andy's physical make up was different and his suffering too great. This is when I believe East needs to meet West when it comes to treatment plans. You have to do what works for YOU! Don't listen to people that want to tell medicine is 'bad'. Medicine for Andy soothed his brain and healed his body.
Ughh, I really don't like the guilt that some natural practitioners give people just because they are not open to psychiatric medicine. EVERYONE IS UNIQUE and different and their needs MUST be honored. Whatever that means for them. It's an individual journey. I'd rather have my son HERE than gone because of ego or a closed mind.
If medicine works for you, take the damn medicine!! Haha! It's your life and you know what is BEST for you! That's what I told my son.
You have to do whatever you have to do in order to become balanced and happy. The most important thing is to listen to YOUR intuition. It will never steer you wrong!
The third best thing that happened this year is that Andy began to forgive himself. He went deep inside and pulled out the pieces of him that had never left. His wild and free spirit reappeared.Slowly, hesitantly...my son came home.
Today, he is in weekly therapy with his Mentor. He decided to switch careers. He is going to get his Masters in Cyber Security and be an advocate for mental health awareness.
He is sober. He isn’t without his bad days, but he KNOWS he can survive anything now. He believes in his power.
On December 16th, he will be 9 months sober. When we fall, we wipe the chalkboard clean and start again in my family. No guilt. No judgement is allowed. I think this was the most important year of Andy’s life because he found out what he was really made of and why he’s still here.
So, this Thanksgiving? I’m thankful for it all. As always, it worked out perfectly. ❤️
