Spirit story for the day, "Learning NOT to lose my shit is a daily practice.
Trust me, I'm not all about the light.
I'm both. Dark and light. Mostly dark.
Who says that a healer has to be only about peace and love?
Why should we feel guilty about having a 'human' emotion when we are living in a human body?
I've learned to use my darkness to move unwanted energies away from my clients.
I've learned to dive into the darkness in order to connect with my pain. Because THAT is where it lives. Inside of the darkness.
My fear, anger, and scared shitless self lives there too.
So, should I ignore this part of myself? Should you?
Should we pretend that we are always warm and fuzzy?
Oh, hell no! How is that authentic?
If we ignore this part of ourselves, we might as well ignore our light.
Loving ourselves means ALL of ourselves. Our whole self.
Not just the sweetness, but the mud. The yuck. The sticky rage that we do not want to show the world. Because, if your like me, oh boy, it ain't pretty!
Thing is about shoving anger down into the pockets of our energetic body...it rots there.
We end up getting things like cancer and high blood pressure...or some other God awful disease.
Our body fills up with inflammation the more we stubbornly push it deeper and deeper away from our truest selves.
If you are mad. Be fucking mad.
It's only when our anger builds up that it hurts us...and, others.
If we willingly acknowledge it when it first makes it's explosive entrance-- instead of slamming the door on it, the toxic energy won't be able to grow.
Meeting our shit where it is, however it appears, is so so so SO important in this kind of healing work.
Without the dark, the light would not exist.
My daughter is my greatest teacher for not losing my shit.
She has taught me NOT to pour gasoline on the flames of my anger. She has taught me even if she is terrified, to sit in it. Not to react with a fight or die attitude.
She has taught me that it is better to shake uncontrollably and remain calm than to unleash fury on another.
My daughter demonstrated this so gracefully recently.
When someone was putting her down for a choice she made, Madeline connected with the pain underneath the anger.
She cried while my throat constricted and my whole body tightened up. I was ready to throw down with a woman that I felt was bullying my daughter.
She said, "No, I will NOT go down to her level, Mom. That is NOT who I am." That is not who she is. Wow.
How did my 22 year old daughter master this response while my 45 year old self still has to work on reigning in the fight?
Healing work is about connecting with the love inside of ourselves and sharing it with others.
LOVE is way more powerful than anger. It softens that energy instantly.
The key is standing in the middle. Letting yourself FEEL the darkness, while standing IN the light.
I will always be intense, protective, passionate, and full of fire. This isn't a bad thing unless I use this energy the wrong way.
Instead, I am going to keep dancing. Dancing with ALL the human emotions that we face each day.
Anger is just pain in disguise anyway.
Soooooo, just for today, I will not lose my shit! 
I will stand in awareness like my wise daughter.
I will stand in compassion for people that I feel are hurting my children, or husband, or cat for that matter!
I can STILL be a Momma Bear, but I don't have to destroy my opponent.
I can look at what is coming up for me--what trigger, what pain, and I can sit in it. Just like my daughter.
For as long as it needs to transform into love."
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