Spirit Story of the month, "Don't ever change the essence of who YOU are to make someone else comfortable."
Are you willing to become uncomfortable, and even disliked, to HONOR who YOU really are?
I can't promise it won't hurt.
In fact, it will hurt like hell as you learn who is there for you- and who never was.
You may even feel completely alone, shocked, and broken for awhile.
You may have to forgive yourself for what you have settled for, or denied, in order to "keep the peace".
What I CAN promise you is that staying true to who you REALLY are will lead you to incredible empowerment, rapid transformation and a happiness that you may never have known.
Are you with me?
Are you willing to disengage from those that make you feel less than? No matter WHO they are?
Your story is important.
You have value even if others say you don't.
That is THEIR REALITY.
Your reality can be anything you want it to be.
You get to decide how someone makes you feel.
You get to choose if they help (or hurt) you in your life.
Remember this---you deserve unconditional love and acceptance every God damn day.
This past Spring, I was judged---and, nearly destroyed by someone close to me.
At first, I was spitting fire and clawing my way out of a corner to defend myself.
I pulled an old school, late 80's Sarah Durkey version out of myself, and socked it to him!
For this, I am not proud...
I am a Shaman, but not every situation can be handled with love and light.
And, we have to embrace the darkness that emerges from deep within instead of resist it--or punish ourselves--for feeling anger.
I was in complete shock, though, at how much resentment someone carried for me.
Blindsided, in fact.
I come from a place where people tell it like it is and don't "pretend" to like you--or love you--if they don't.
I was incredibly sad until I realized how this person must view the world around him.
Never being able to trust anyone, or anything.
Never seeing the positive light in others because he can't see it in himself.
Not allowing the love IN that I was so willing to give without expectations.
How critical he must be towards himself if he is able to hold such hatred inside for me all these years.
How fucking exhausting.
How this person perceived me had nothing to do with me and everything to do with their own self-hate.
Once I realized this, I began to understand his fight is not with me...it's with himself.
I hope he finds his peace one day, I really do, but I won't be there with open arms when he does.
I will have stepped far away from his disapproving stares.
I will have danced into a place of protection and deeper healing.
I do not ever have to be around someone that vibrates such disdain again...no matter who they are.
Even if they are a relative.
There is no excuse for someone making you feel emotionally unsafe every time you see them. You don't have to accept condescending or hurtful behavior just because they are supposedly family.
You don't have to carry guilt for someone else's mistreatment towards you.
You are not obligated to "make nice" just so that you don't get accused of breaking apart the family.
It's OK not to be waiting to make peace with someone that has torn you to shreds at some point in your life.
It doesn't make you an angry, unforgiving person.
It means you are committing to your health and happiness FIRST.
What is so cool is that we get to choose who is in our lives--and, who is not.
After a decade of hurt, I finally accept that it is OK not to be liked.
Omg, it is SO SO SO OK!
It's liberating.
Never again will I walk on egg shells, or be judged and criticized for being me.
If someone constantly treats you poorly...let them go. Continue to be the warm, embracing person that YOU are.
Be intense. Be sensitive. Be excitable. Be creative. Be scared. Be too bubbly. Be crazy. Be happy. Be daring. Be YOU!
Never change to make someone else feel comfortable.
Passive aggressive and toxic people are telling you how they feel about themselves, and everyone around them.
It's not a reflection on YOUR character, but theirs.
Let them be negative and miserable.
Choose to disengage.
You'll never convince them of your goodness. No matter what you do.
I can tell you that it feels wonderful to let go.
So freeing.
So healing.
When you honor your own worth, something magical happens. You end up attracting the most loving, accepting and supportive people to you.
Don't ever apologize for being EXACTLY who you are! Not ever!  ️
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