The Power of Choosing LOVE.

Spirit message for the day "There is far more power in owning your behavior, than breaking people's spirits with the need to be right."

I married a 'right fighter'.

At first, I found this infuriating until I realized that 1.) I am a mirr...or for everyone that I attract into my life and 2.) This was his way of filling a void of pain from his past. If he was 'right' then, he found a false sense of control and didn't have to face the truth that he may of made some of his own, devastating mistakes.

It felt like that first year of marriage, I stomped my feet more than I spoke!

I had met my match. We were madly in love and this TERRIFIED us both.

He was fresh off of a divorce and I came from years of violence and betrayal. Oh, what a great combination, eh?!

I would scream, "Why is it SO important to be right instead of taking responsibility that YOU may be contributing to some of our issues?"

He would just give me this blank stare. Like it had never crossed his mind that he might be playing a role in our distress.

Out of habit, I would end up apologizing even if the fault was not all mine.

I didn't want to lose this man.

It wasn't worth it to me to fight anymore because I had fought my WHOLE LIFE.

I fought for my pride, my dignity, my freedom, my virtue, for the abused dog or child...and what I THOUGHT WAS THE TRUTH!

RIGHT??

Hmmmmmm, could I be a 'right fighter' too?

Fighting for my own rights and the rights of victims that no longer had a voice, was a WAY OF LIFE for me.

In the end, according to BOTH my husband's and my own life experiences, we were both 'right', were we not?

Our perceptions were based in our own realities.

My beloved husband was standing up for what HE KNEW, for how he was raised.

And, so was I.

So, was either one of us wrong?

Ohhhh, it's so confusing, is it not?!

This is when it struck us both, two years into our marriage, that being right or wrong is not worth losing each other.

We chose to grow up.

We figured out that it was more important how we made each other 'feel'.

If I accused my husband or he accused me of being wrong, we BOTH HURT.

This is when I understood that instead of being 'right', we would gift each other respect. We began honoring one another's thoughts, feelings and opinions.

THIS is when we both shifted into our POWER.

We CHOSE LOVE.

In the end, it was really that simple.

9 years later we are still writing our love story.